Sleepless and Pacing
I cannot sleep. I have spent the last few nights tossing and turning in my bed waiting for sleep to come to me. I am exhausted but it does not want to come. I get up and look outside wondering how others are coping with what is now happening world wide. My husband does not sleep.
This is not something we ever expected or thought we would see. My parents were children of Germany during the Second World War. They lived through food shortages, a depression and nightly bombings of their cities. My parents were handed over to families who could work for them for food and shelter. My mother went to a doctor’s family and my father to a farmer. They never wanted to go hungry again. There was always plenty of food in their house.
Now watching people fall ill to this COVID-19. Some people recover and some people die. There is no rhyme or reason to who falls victim. Who recovers or succumbs. A young child with cerebral palsy falls victim and recovers. The British Prime Minister is now battling this disease. Young, fit people fall victim and succumb. A 92-year woman falls victim and recovers. Does any of this make sense?
Grocery stores have empty shelves. Why the rush on food and cleaning products? I still go out to purchase groceries. I wear a mask and gloves and spray myself with antibacterial soap. I also try to help out where I can. I drop off groceries to a local food bank. I purchase items from bakeries and restaurants to try and help them stay open. I purchase craft kits for children to help a woman keep her food bank and store open and to give to those in need. It isn’t much but it is what I can do. I have considered helping out at food banks but after my chemotherapy and radiation treatment, I do not wish to take the risk of getting the disease and then passing it on to others.
But the world has become eerie. There are pastors who have opened their doors and are preaching to their congregations and have declared that they are a house of God. I’m not certain that qualifies them explicitly to not contracting the disease and then passing it on to others. Sounds kind of Jonestown to me. I did sign on to an online church service on Sunday. The pastor talked about Revelation. Interesting. There are so many theories about the end of the word and what the book of Revelation means. It might feel like we are in the end times. I don’t know.
I do pray to God. I do believe in God. I listen to The Message from Sirius XM. But we are not to know what is in the future. We need to hold onto our faith in God and trust that He will see us through this. Whatever is in store for me, for you, for everyone, as long as I keep my faith In God, He will take me where I need to be.